The Ferris Wheel

Everybody is psyched over our new Ferris Wheel. So am I kinda. But am stupified when I remember we had a Ferris Wheel, 45 fun rides, a spookhouse, a butt-tightening rollercoaster, a million-memories pavilion with 100 pinball and video games and we wrecking-ball'd all that down to make way for a new computer-operated Ferris Wheel. Maybe now we'll build a new computer-operated pavilion.

OFF SEASON

Off season is called that for a damn good reason. Thoreau who cooed, “Live each season as it passes, breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit…resign yourself to the influences of each season.” Well Thoreau didn’t know dookee about the Myrtle Beach restaurant off season.
In one fall full moon you rappel from the rarified air of Everest to the cash-register emptiness of the Marianas Trench. Some winter days you open the door and absolutely no one (zero, nada) darkens your door cept a map salesmen and a coupon-book purveyor dunning you for overdue bills and an Irish Traveler offering you a too-good-to-be-true asphalt patch.

Another except from Dino's book

The Rochester Newmans

The Rochester NY Newmans and their beautiful family dined at their favorite Myrtle Beach restaurant, Cagneys Old Place. 35 years straight they have arrived in matching pastel sport jackets. Whoops! This time they came in unmatched sweaters. Worried, we called a marriage counselor. Everything's still peachy. They're still lovey dovey. Mr Newman has a dollar bill signed by every Cagney's server since 1976. Our entire server history is all there on a dollar bill!