Caviar & Truffles: EXCEPT FROM DINO'S NEW BOOK

Print and TV foodies constantly napalm us with with flaming hype and silver spit-buckets fulla syrupy adjective about fancy new dishes and wines.

Then you finally taste one.

You taste a truffle encapsulated in crystalline florettes of parsnips, a glob of beluga caviar on a lavender foam cracker and wash it all down with a turbo-tannic glass of Haute Medoc One.

Your face prunes into Peggy Anguish as you whine, "Is that all there is? Hells bells I'd rather have a NY strip, a shrimp cocktail with some good ole cocktail sauce and a Michelob."